


Some Things You Can't Fix

by sevensevan



Category: Faking It (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I'm a terrible person, I'm so sorry, So much angst, bc this doesn't have one, do not read if you like happy endings, i'm actually mad at myself for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9340583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevensevan/pseuds/sevensevan
Summary: Coda to 3x10 (kind of). Karma, Amy, and New Year's Day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself. This was supposed to be happy. I don't know what happened.

Amy opens her eyes when she hears the quiet sound of sandaled feet on the roof behind her. She’s sitting outside her bedroom window, knees tucked up underneath her chin, arms wrapped around her legs, enjoying the slowly growing heat of the sunrise.

“Hey,” Karma says, sitting down beside her. Amy flinches at the sound of her voice, looking up to watch the last of the stars fading into the lightening sky, instead of looking into the wide, vibrant eyes of her…whatever they are now.

“Hey,” Amy murmurs back. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see my best friend,” Karma tells her. Amy finally looks at her. Bad idea. Karma looks radiant, glowing against the backdrop of a pink and red sky. She’s gazing at Amy, softly, kindly, and if Amy didn’t know better, she would think almost lovingly. Amy tears her eyes away and stares into the horizon, her mouth tasting like iron from where she’s biting her lip.

“Is that we we’re calling it now?” Amy asks. It’s rhetorical, and Karma knows it. If they were ever just friends, they became something more long before the kiss in the gym.

“Sorry,” Karma mumbles. Amy shakes her head. She’s angry, all of a sudden, angry at Karma for…well, everything. Angry that she thinks she can come up here and say she’s sorry and make everything okay again. But mostly, she’s angry at herself, because if Karma keeps looking at her like that, with eyes that are gentle and just so goddamn _beautiful_ , she’ll forgive her.

And Amy doesn’t think Karma deserves her forgiveness.

“Stop,” Amy snaps. Karma visibly flinches, and Amy pushes down the instant flood of concern and worry and _love_ , because she needs to say this and Karma needs to hear it, no matter how hard it is for the both of them. “You can’t do that. You don’t get to say you’re sorry and fix things between us. You _can’t_ fix us, Karma. Not after everything you put me through.” Karma nods and mimics Amy’s posture, tucking her knees under her chin, and she just looks so small and sad and scared that Amy relents. “You’re always going to mean the world to me, okay?” she continues, much softer now. “And I’m always going to be here when you need me. But not the way it was. It hurts too much. I can’t just go back to…to sleeping over and cuddling and hand-holding and movie marathons and takeout and being your best friend and pretending like it’s not _killing_ me!”

“I’m sorry,” Karma whispers, and she’s crying now, and Amy feels sick to her stomach, because how _dare_ she hurt this beautiful, incredible girl like this? But Karma hurt her first, over and over and over again, so she bites her lip even harder and wishes in the back of her mind that the blood in her mouth would drown her, so she wouldn’t have to watch Karma in pain that she caused. “I’m so sorry,” Karma repeats. “You know I never meant to hurt you. I need you to know that. It’s okay if you hate me, because I did hurt you, I know, but please just understand. I didn’t want to.”

“It doesn’t matter if you were trying to or not,” Amy says. “You did. You were my entire world, Karm, and you had the choice of whether or not to shatter it. And you chose to, even if you didn’t know you were doing it. You broke me.” Karma nods, but Amy isn’t finished. “And you know what the worst part is? I can’t even hate you for it. I still love you too much to hate you. I should. I should never want to see you again, but I still want you, and that just makes me hate myself.”

Karma nearly apologizes again, swallowing the words just before she speaks them. They sit in silence, watching the sunrise. Finally, Karma speaks.

“Do you think we’ll ever be friends again?” she asks, her voice small and timid.

“I hope so,” Amy says. She can feel her eyelids drooping. She’s exhausted, and even after everything, Karma’s presence still makes her feel safe.

“Do you think we’ll ever be anything more?” Karma asks next, and Amy lets out a choked sob.

“Stop,” she begs. “Please, stop. You can’t…you can’t say things like that. You can’t keep hurting me.”

“I’m sorry,” Karma says again. “I just…if we could just forget about all our history, everything that’s happened, do you think we would have a chance?”

“We can’t forget,” Amy tells her, voice tortured and strangled. “We can’t go back. It happened, Karma, all of it happened and we can’t change that, and we can’t forget. _I_ can’t forget. So please, don’t ask me to.”

“Okay,” Karma agrees. The roof goes quiet again. The sun is almost all the way up now, and they’re both tear-stained and exhausted and they’re not just broken individually, but what was between them, the magic, the love, the beauty that was _them_ , it’s all broken. “I’m sorry,” Karma says again as the garage door across the street begins to open.

“You apologized already,” Amy mutters. Karma shakes her head.

“It’s not enough,” she says. “It will never be enough.” Amy looks at her then, eyes red and makeup smeared and she looks so _tired_. Physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted.

“You should go,” Amy says, and Karma can practically hear whatever’s left of her heart shatter in her chest.

“Why?” she asks. Amy looks away, towards the sunrise, and shakes her head.

“Because there’s nothing left to say,” she explains, and Karma realizes that she’s right.

At 6:52 AM, on January 1st, 2016, Karma Ashcroft walks out of Amy Raudenfeld’s life. Amy doesn’t turn around to watch her go.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any inconsistencies with canon, it's been awhile since I watched s3. I was just watching edits on YouTube and the Karmy feels smacked me in the face with gay.


End file.
